Man is not meant to be alone.

Even hermits have a marriage with God.

We die if we do not pour ourselves into something. Even during stillness, monks donate their selves entirely, acting by not acting. You have the artillery to inject with ferocious action your self into anything that will return to you the power you devoted.

Swiss psychologist Carl Jung devoted his life to bringing life to those who have lost theirs’. Using archetypes of masculinity, he enabled men to get a sense of who they are and how they need to be so as to not be alone.


Symbolic Space: The Garden of Delight

Emblem: The Phallus

Examples: Saint Francis, James Brown, Mister Rogers, Israel “IZ” Kamakawiwo’ole, Steve Irwin, Martin Luther King, Jr., Adam


The lover senses. The man who experiences this archetype is sexual, erotic, and passionate. He feels awakened, animated, vigorous, spirited, adventurous, playful, and at peace with who he is and where he is from. Work does not labor him, but cultivates, strengthens, and liberates him. This man is sensitive to the feelings of others, generates bonds easily, and loves and accepts love without hesitation. The lover breathes humanity into a man, and the man inspires humanity.

The Garden

The lover walks–natural and free–in the Garden, the entrance to which enjoys a protector. The protector wears only a sword with which to keep the Garden. Heavy with vitality when sheathed, it nullifies gravity when bared. The sword was forged from a comet and paired with quartz, and on its blade is written a word. His mind is singularly focused on protecting the Garden and all that populates her. He can be defeated only by himself and by anything that persuades him to be other than himself. Thus, to enter the Garden a man must be him.

The Garden is the house of beauty and harmony, tended and groomed by a king. A man enters through the primal corner of the Garden, where the Sun adorns the sky with gold–and with red–crowns the trees and paints the earth lightly. Brothers eagle and hawk keep watch above the grassy fields. Sisters shrub and tree cradle delicate flowers bashfully blooming and trim branches seductively swaying. Grapes and peaches are made soft, and ladled with juices by the undefiled waters of the earth that fill the cups of all the living things. Here, the lover waits for the man with the power to take this garden and keep it; to walk–one with the lover–to the fertile garden bed; and here, to delight in the consummate beauty and natural scent of his garden, and to reproduce in miniature the Garden he fought to secure.

Towards the center of the Garden is a very tiny hill. A man must ascend this very tiny hill.

At the top, a man looks down and in–to the center of the Garden. Within the center of the Garden is the courtyard of fertility and nourishment. The courtyard is bare earth–naked and brown. No weeds or shrubs or crawling things are here. It is vast, and no one has seen an end. On the earth are shallow ripples like waves, not seen by anyone who does not look. A string is played, and the earth responds with rolling waves along tiny particles of earth. A wind moves almost unnoticeably, decorated with the scent of lavender and rose. If you close your eyes the wind will move you, too.

In the navel of the courtyard is a rock, great and towering. It has seen the world change. Up–it rises higher than the sky. Down–it enters deeper than the earth. No one has seen the top. Nothing has ever moved it; nothing ever will. Water flows from the rock into the earth, and out of this earth comes forth a vine. With both arms, the vine ascends the rock spiralling, and with infinite fingers presses into it and bonds with it. The rock stabilises the vine, and the vine nourishes the rock. Some have said they can see the rock breathing.

On the right of this great rock is a second rock, like the first but much smaller. A word is written into this rock. From the side comes a flow of water, and from the crown grows a sprout.

There is a third and final rock centered in front of the other two; radiant jade, smaller than the first rock but grander than the second. The jade is smooth, sinuous, immaculate, and supremely beautiful. The vine that winds up the great rock emerges from inside, then cradles the smaller rock. Dark red roses and deep lavender flowers nest warmly on top, while the wind quietly and effortlessly lifts and spins their petals.

Here, in the courtyard of the Garden, the lover is unveiled. Here, the man finds rest, and the lover rests in the man. The two walk together as one, natural and free, and from here the man’s world blooms–radiant and colourful–from the core of his being to the ends of the earth.

Be Free, Not Out-of-Control

The lover archetype, like the king, warrior, and magician archetypes, is a symbol of masculine energy. It being energetic, the man who takes the lover archetype must guard against being taken by it. He who neglects to balance the lover archetype with the warrior might be uprooted by its hurricane of energy and carried beyond the boundaries he is commissioned to protect. This potential to be possessed by rather than to walk with the lover archetype creates a tension between sexuality and morality, and desire and duty. It can convince the man who senses to be a man without common sense.

Some men fear being carried away by feeling and sensation. As a method of protection, they reject the lover rather than embody the warrior. Fear governs them, and men governed by fear are men not governed by the King. Balancing the lover with the warrior who serves the King prevents a man from fearing the lover and gives him permission to experience the lover fully and responsibly.

Because this man feels without fear, he does not run from pain. Because he is sensitive to the feelings of others, he feels the pain of those he loves and is willing to carry burdens for them. The Garden is his paradise, but when cooperating with the warrior he is willing to reach through thorn and brush to rescue others trapped beyond the Garden walls.

Be Liberated, Not Stupid

When the lover is coupled with the magician, the man finds meaning in intellectual pursuits, gaining wisdom in addition to knowledge. He loves both experiencing nature and understanding her. The lover and magician enhance each other’s perceptions, and the man’s mind is opened to new possibilities. Together they beget a man whose life is both structured and fluid.

“Love can be kept only by being given away” – Thomas Merton

Love is deeper than feeling, but a man who does not feel will have difficulty experiencing love. He will be trapped inside himself, where he will die. Just as women tend to protect the safety of their bodies, so we men tend to protect the safety of our hearts. Yet, the wall we are commissioned to build is not meant to keep the life in, but to keep the death out.

Suggested Reading

King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine, by Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette.

The Lover Within: Accessing the Lover in the Male Psyche, by Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette.